There is something oddly satisfying about a really good Dad Joke. They are so simple, yet so poignant. Maybe it’s the fact that we all can relate to them, or that our own Dad’s often really did lay corny one liners like this on us, but these can always get a chuckle. Dad Jokes can be puns, a play on words, a funny observation, as long as its corny and delivered dry then it counts as a Dad Joke.
The question is; when you read these, do you do it with your Dad’s voice in your head? If not, try it, it might just take the funny up a notch or two.
With Father’s Day approaching we wanted to share what we think are some of the funniest Dad Jokes brought to you by well, Dad! Enjoy…
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe!
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it!
Q: Where do baby cats learn to swim?
A: The kitty pool.
Q: What kind of egg did the evil chicken lay?
A: A deviled egg.
My wife asked me to go get 6 cans of Sprite from the grocery store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7 up.
Why didn’t the dog want to play football? Because he was a boxer.
What does a zombie vegetarian eat? “GRRRAAAIINS!”
Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, “No, just leave it in the carton!”
I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
Why does Snoop Dogg always carry an umbrella? Fo’ Drizzle.
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth? It’s pasteurized before you even see it.
Why can’t a leopard hide? Because he’s always spotted.
How do moths swim? Using the butterfly stroke.
How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!
How can you tell it’s a dogwood tree? From the bark.
How do lawyers say goodbye? We’ll be suing ya!
I could tell a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.
What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? The space bar.
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.
How does a penguin build his house? Igloos it together.
What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear? Loafers.
I told my doctor I heard buzzing, but he said it’s just a bug going around.
If the early bird gets the worm, I’ll sleep in until there’s pancakes.
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna One, Anna Two!
What do you call a toothless bear? A gummy bear!
Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
Which bear is the most condescending? A pan-duh!
What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make? Brrrroooom, brrroooom.
What do you call a pudgy psychic? A four-chin teller.
What do you call it when a group of apes start a company? Monkey business.
What kind of drink can be bitter and sweet? Reali-tea.
What do you call a naughty lamb dressed up like a skeleton for Halloween? Baaad to the bone.
What would the Terminator be called in his retirement? The Exterminator.
Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”
Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb.
Why do some couples go to the gym? Because they want their relationship to work out.
What’s the most detail-oriented ocean? The Pacific.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.
What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1
My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands.
Why was the color green notoriously single? It was always so jaded.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Why did the coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback.
How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans.
5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.
You’re American when you go into a bathroom and when you come out, but what are you while you’re in the bathroom? European.
Dogs can’t operate MRI machines. But catscan.
I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
When does a joke become a “dad joke?” When it becomes apparent.